Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship at Uni
When I was in college and applying for universities, one of my tutors made this comment, “Do not expect to stay boyfriend/girlfriend with the person you are with right now if you plan on going to uni.”
That was over three years ago, and I’m proud to say that me and my boyfriend are celebrating our 6 year anniversary this year. In my opinion, love really does conquer everything (as cheesy as it sounds), and if the relationship is strong enough you will both get out of this together. However, it can get difficult sometimes, so here are a few tips that I believe are important for a healthy long distance relationship whilst at uni:
1) Be Honest With Each Other: This is perhaps the most important aspect of maintaining the relationship. As a fresher, you’re going to want to go out and party like everyone else, and your spouse should understand that. Telling your other half that you’re going to the library to study then having pictures of you drunk all over your Facebook wall the next day is most likely going to destroy some of their trust in you.
2) Make Time For Each Other: Yes, you’re a university student, you have deadlines and work piling up on top of you and you’re not sure which way is up, but even half an hour a day where you can sit and talk to each other undisturbed is important. When I was doing my dissertation I aimed to have at least an hour either talking to my boyfriend online or over the phone, as not only did it mean we had spent time together, it also helped me step away from the stress of my dissertation for an hour, and come back to it with a new perspective. There will also be times where you don’t have anything to do, and even if all you want to do is spend a day in bed, wouldn’t it be so much better if your spouse was there with you?
3) Be Prepared to Make Mistakes: and also say “sorry” a lot. The university lifestyle is completely different to anything you may have experienced before, it is a halfway house between school/college and adulthood, and that can be liberating to the point where you can forget about your loyalties back home. I know that personally I messed up quite a few times in regards to my relationship with my boyfriend, but we got through it and we’re stronger because of it.
4) Include Them In Your New Life: In those rare times that me and my other half saw each other (for the first couple of years until he moved 20 minutes away) I showed him the sights of my university city. I found it so enjoyable that we found ourselves exploring further and finding places even I hadn’t been. Its a great way to get your partner involved in your own new experience, and together you might find a few hidden gems along the way too!
So there you have it, a couple of tips to help you survive uni with a long distance partner. Of course every relationship is different so some aspects may be different for you and your other half, but in my personal experience I believe these to be some of the most fundamental points for ensuring a happy long distance relationship. Also be prepared to miss them a lot, as although the world has come a long way with regards to communication, it is very different to not being around them (me and my boyfriend used to spend hours just staring at each other when he visited).
And finally, an immature note to my old tutor; I proved you wrong, so there.