Jealousy and Bullying
Jealousy and bullying doesn’t stop when you leave school. It follows you throughout life and university may be no different. You pick your friends based on a mutual interest or because you were thrown together in class or accommodation so why would they turn against you?
It happened to me in my second year of university. I became withdrawn from the girls who I lived with because I wasn’t a big drinker so didn’t go out with them a lot and I was also going through a lot of personal things that constantly played on my mind. In the first few months of my final year, things took a turn for the worse and in hindsight, I can see exactly why the bullying came to a head around then.
I was a contributor to the culture section of the student newspaper and when I entered third year, I became the culture editor. I interviewed everyone from Cannon and Ball to All Time Low, Lee Ryan and Kids In Glass Houses. I got free tickets to theatre shows and got guest list for concerts. I’ve always been academic and was doing really well on my course as well. It was a great time for me until I started to get bullied by my housemates. I ended up leaving the house at the end of October.
A few people put it down to jealousy that they weren’t doing the things I was and I was having fun with people who they didn’t know. I believe this to be partly true. But then I also believe that it was down to a number of other factors. It wasn’t until I had a breakdown that I realised I needed to do something about the situation because if not they had won and that’s not really the way it should be. I’d done nothing wrong except try to further my career and have a good time.
I spoke to a tutor who I got on really well with and she helped me more than I expected. She told me who to talk to about my deadlines, let me cry in her office when things got too much and informed other tutors who needed to know of the issue. It was a great help for me but I was reluctant to ask for help because to me, asking for help is a sign of weakness. I was brought up to have a do it yourself attitude and to just get on with it when life gets you down. In hindsight, I wish I’d have asked for help sooner.
If something like this happens to you, don’t just hope it’ll go away because it won’t. If anything it’ll escalate and start to affect your uni work. With the amount of money you’re paying in fees, it’s not worth letting someone ruin all your hard work just because of jealousy. If I hadn’t spoken to my tutor, I don’t think I’d have got the 2:1 that I did. I also wouldn’t have got the tattoo I have on my wrist that says ‘Weightless’.